All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
