That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i just had sex bonerless
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize