brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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