He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
