bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize