I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize