My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
