I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
