probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
