How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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