I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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