I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
