i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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