$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
