everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
a search helicopter?!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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