You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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