my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
