Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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