Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
