thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
