i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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