it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
