I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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