Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
