is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bet he comes in French.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
