I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
