I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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