Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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