You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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