Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
