I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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