do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
