just tell him i said nine months
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
