just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
