If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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