OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
