If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize