But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
