if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
