In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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