Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
