I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
