I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
