I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
