i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
bring money and cleavage
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
