I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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