Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
