Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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