So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
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I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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