McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
