this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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