I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
