i need an iv and a liver transplant
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
