Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
