Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
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His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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