dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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