i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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