There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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