where does the pee come out of this thing
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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